Do Past Sins Haunt You? (Ken)

In today's Advent reflection, we draw inspiration from the story of British jockey Willie Carson and explore the shadows of our spiritual lives. How often do our past sins follow us like shadows, even after confession? What does it mean when our conscience is disturbed? And how can we embrace God’s infinite mercy and forgive ourselves?

Transcript

hey there welcome back to Advent daily have you heard about Willie Carson he's a famous British jockey one day he was racing in pontif effect and he was enjoying a nice lead along the rails and he had a feeling maybe I should look over my shoulder to see if there's horses that are close to him and as he glanced he saw a shadow of a horse closing in upon him so he turned around and spurred his horse on for that last 300 M Willie cars in the drive position that's one will but when he crossed the Finish Line he realized that the nearest horse was 15 lengths behind him what about that shadow he saw well it turns out that Willie Carson was racing against his own shadow isn't that like us in life sometimes we look over our shoulder and we see our past sins and we turn around and we keep on going and everywhere as we go our past sins follow us like a shadow we can't shake them now the Shadows the mistakes of our past are not necessarily bad things especially if we haven't gone to confession for them two things stand out number one why is the shadow caused well because the sun is shining upon us why do we have the Shadows of the spiritual life what are those the Disturbed conscience why does that happen because the Sun the grace of God is shining upon our soul disturbing us spurring us on not just simply to finish the race but to seek his Mercy in the sacrament of confession which leads us to the second point if our conscience is Disturbed it's not a sign that God has left us it is a sign that God is working in us moving us to the sacrament of Mercy confession but what if we've had this experience where we have a disturb conscience for sins of the past and we have gone to confession for them well then we have to realize the the error that we're in because if we've confessed the sin of the past but the shadow is still bothering us what we're telling Jesus is this what you did on the cross is not enough for my sin because I still have to beat up myself about it now isn't the whole spiritual life about being like Jesus don't you want to be like Jesus here's the question if Jesus is rich in Mercy to you and has forgiven you shouldn't you be rich in Mercy to you and forgive yourself if you've already gone to the sacrament of confession be like Jesus in all things including how you treat yourself Jesus said to St fostina daughter when you go to confession to the F of Mercy the blood and water which came forth from my heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it every time you go to confession immerse yourself entirely in my Mercy with great trust so that I may pour the Bounty of my grace upon your soul when you approach the confessional know this that I myself am waiting there for you I am only hidden by the priest but I myself act in your soul here the misery of the Soul Meets the god of Mercy tell Souls if their trust is great there is no limit to my generosity the Torance of Grace inundate humble Souls I wanted to encourage you about the mercy of God for this first part of this video now for the second part Here Comes St alonsus and now we talk about the shadow of Eternal regret s alasa says the remorse for having lost by one's own fault some great good or for having been the voluntary cause of some great evil to ourselves is so great that even in this life it is an insupportable torment but what torment will that youth called by the singular favor of God to the religious State feel in hell when he perceives that if he had obeyed God he would have attained ained a high place in paradise and sees himself nevertheless confined in that prison of torments without hope of remedy for this his eternal ruin St alasas is making a specific reference to a person who is rejected the call that God has in their life but I think we can all relate to this maybe we weren't called aren't called to the religious state but we all reject God's call in some way and in that case he's he's reminding us of it seems that a soul in his opinion in Hell understands what they gave up had they obeyed God which is consistent with what God the Father revealed to St Katherine of Sienna when he revealed to her four sufferings of hell and we'll just focus on the second one God the father said to St Catherine regarding a soul in hell for when they see that their sinfulness has deprived them of me and of the company of the and made them worthy instead of seeing the demons and sharing their Fellowship conscience gnaws away at them constantly this is one of the four sufferings that God the Father talks to St Katherine about called the agony of regret now if you'd like to know all four of the sufferings that God the Father revealed to St Catherine I'll link here at the end of this video but I think the point for us today is this as long as we have breath in our lungs and our heart is still beating we still have this great opportunity for Mercy we should not despair that our sin is so great that God could not forgive it nor that it's so great that we should not forgive ourselves since Jesus has already forgiven us so with that let's pray let us pray Oh my Jesus I wish to die of Sorrow when I think how I have abused your infinite goodness forgive me my love and come and take entire possession of my heart you have said that you would not disdain to enter into the Abode of him that opens to thee and to remain in his company If any man shall open to me the door I will come into him and Su with him if I have until now driven you away for me I now love you and desire nothing but thy favor behold the door is open enter into my heart but enter never to depart from it again