She Said Yes to God — A Vocation Story (Sister Miriam Josephine)

What does it mean to say "yes" to God's will? In this powerful Catholic vocation story, Sister Miriam Josephine shares her 25-year journey of discernment — from youth ministry and missionary work in Kolkata to taking her religious vows with the Queenship of Mary community.

Raised in a Catholic family, Sister Miriam wrestled with the question so many ask: What is God's will for my life? This heartfelt interview explores prayer, adoration, Marian consecration, and the ache of not being “fully given” — all leading to the day she said yes to Jesus.

Transcript

you're asking this question probably Lord what do you want of me Yeah

Can you look back at that time and think is there some significant turning points or realizations that you had that perhaps the Lord is calling me to religious life I did feel like a bit drawn to the missionaries of charity because like I knew life there So I was like "Oh maybe I should be a missionary of charity." But when I looked at their life felt like I said "No I can't be a missionary charity." Like kind of but I said no to religious life That's why I've never heard someone quite put it that way at a natural level you were happy but a deeper level there was something missing and he said you weren't completely given and it wasn't until like much later I realized that I had said no and I just like repented and I just said like Lord I'm sorry that I said no to being a missionary of charity and I just felt him say in my heart like I never asked you to be a missionary of charity and it was such a moment of grace for me because I felt like in his response that I knew like he wants me to be more happy like he knows me and he knows exactly but is going to bring me like life and fullness of life In that retreat it was as if he showed me the queenship of Mary It was like this is my desire for you [Music]

So Sister Miriam Josephine it's a joy to have you Thank you Yeah So this conversation I feel like had its makings maybe 25 years ago something like that

And here's the backstory I remember when I first was aware of you okay You were going to school at Rivier Yeah Ran by the sisters in the presentation Uh Sister Rayanne invited me to do a retreat You were in the crowd and then we had a time of prayer and where Sister Rayanne was praying with some young people and I was praying with some young people and you came and you sat down in a chair and you had a prayer request and I remember your prayer request Okay Do you remember that No I don't You said with tears in your eyes I just want to know God's will And 25 years later here we are Here we are I mean we became friends after that right But 25 years Yeah So I take me back to how this How did this happen Um I might need some cleaning Yeah Thank you Um oh I'll put it down here Take me back to when you were growing up Yeah Okay So as a little girl like were you aware of the presence of God Who was God to you as a little child So yeah So I grew up um here in Saskatchewan uh on a farm I was the second of four children And uh we grew up in a Catholic family We went to church on Sundays and it was important you know Um I know my dad was like we don't wear jeans to mass or you know like things like there was a reverence that was instilled in us and um and we didn't miss mass on Sundays It was it was important I don't think like it was there wasn't this sense of like a personal relationship with God It was like um yeah I remember my mom saying one night she took us in and she said like and don't forget to say your prayers but I remember feeling like I don't I don't know what that means even you know and just kind of being like a bit embarrassed about that like I don't really know what this is about but I was too shy to ask you know Yeah Yeah I guess one of my earliest like um memories when I think about my my vocational journey especially was um when it the day of my first communion and um that evening we had gathered at my home and my great-grandmother had given me a little ivory cross and my cousin had also received her first communion and her gift was the same as mine but mine had a little ivory cross and something in that gift spoke a really deep truth in my heart of like being set apart art and I didn't really know what it meant Um but like I come back to that and I there was like something that there was like this knowing in my heart that I was set apart but I didn't know what Yeah I didn't know what that meant Yeah So when we celebrated the sacraments it was important when we were growing up um was confirmed when I was I don't know 13 or whatever But yeah it just kind of was outside of that There was like a desire for goodness Um then when I was 15 I went to boarding school So I stayed with those sisters and it was beautiful to see their life and to see their um yeah just to we had prayer together and things like that So and and there was a desire for those things but um not a real understanding of like who God is or or any of that until the years of of um of youth group And so um yeah so one day when I was in high school um I I was told by my cousin that we had a new youth minister and his name was Kenya Zinski And so um and people were getting excited about what was going on And so I was curious and so I started getting involved and from from the youth group the weekly youth groups came um came the the youth retreats And so um yeah I just remember being really intrigued by the teachings that we were receiving of just like prayer and um an encounter with God And to see I was watching my peers come into that personal relationship with Jesus And they would you know it's like we would gather in an evening and they would say like "Oh this is what God is doing in my life This is what God is doing in my life." And I just remember being like wanting to know that And I remember one night the World Youth Day cross came through the city and so we had gathered in Saskatoon at somebody's house and yeah like even just the the presence of like older mentors who like were taking their Saturday night to hang out with with high school students was really touched me Can you go back like was it people that I was Yes it was you It was you like so it was like we all went to this event and then we all went back to somebody's house and we were sharing just hanging out on a Saturday night I think it was Saturday night in Saskatoon and I remember as I was leaving like we were just saying goodbye and you just said to me like keep going for him Like it was like you knew that I didn't know him but that like I was on my way and just like that word of encouragement um and just like what that meant for me is like you believed that I could have that Yeah And yeah and so the beginnings was the like these these youth retreats that we went to And the one I think that stands out the most for me was um in St Wahberg So it was your home parish Um one of the early ones and um we went there and for me it was like just the place where Jesus became real to me And yeah and I just remember like I I still have like a memory of like the image of that crucifix in particular of just like recognizing that like Yeah that he loved me and that he died for me Yeah I remember I went up in front of everybody and just said like I have been kissed by Christ Like it was just like this beautiful encounter because we would open up the mics The mic Yeah So yeah So like Yeah Just kind of the ABCs of ABCs of sharing Yeah Audible grief and Christ That's right Exactly Exactly Yeah Beautiful times of just like sharing faith and like growing in faith and getting excited about it and just putting Christ at the center Yeah just such beautiful season of faith and um and community After that I I went to university but I would just give my every free weekend or every weekend we would gather I would go and just like I wanted to share Jesus with the people with other people you know and just to be a part of that a part of like yeah just creating that that environment conducive for encounter with Jesus you know that's like a line right from our constitution So I feel like already the Lord was preparing me for the life that he was calling me to even in my days of face to face ministries and cuz you gave a lot of time and service Yeah Yeah Even as your young adult life progressed and and mine as well at that time like you were the camp nurse for for the camps for the Ignite camps and leading and serving in that capacity Uh I think a lot of that that our our friend circles were intertwined very greatly as well Yeah You went on to the missions trip to India as well Yeah Yeah So after university Janelle and I finished university the same year and um there was a group of us that that decided that we wanted to go serve with the missionaries of charity in Kolkata India And we approached Faith Face Ministries and said "What do you think about this being kind of under um Face Face Ministries?" And they were yeah they were very happy to have us um partner with them And so then we were kind of before blogging was a thing We were kind of sharing our story as we were away So we went for 4 months the first time And and again like if I look back on my journey like this was a very significant uh part of my story I I came alive there in a way that I had never experienced before And I when I look at the life there we had we began our day with um 6 a.m mass with the sisters and then we had a quick breakfast and then we went out to our like each of our aposttoates and it was really like a serving Jesus in the poor And it it sometimes sounds cliche in like oh we and we serve Jesus in the poor but really to encounter Jesus in a in the poor in a really significant way and then we would end our day with adoration So just Jesus in the Eucharist And so there was something of that rhythm of life and of letting everything else fade away All like you know all my relationships were kind of like on hold or like the events at home or you know like the everything that we fear of missing out I I had parked all of that back home and just was like free to serve and to be and and in community too I think even that piece too just like to be belong and and that kind of thing So I um I would often talk like over the years after that experience and and I think first of all like again really encountering Jesus in the poor like I had some very profound experiences of like Jesus coming to life in and him being like in the flesh in my in my encounters was sure Yeah I think one of them that is very dear to my heart was just this one time we were we were on the um station team So we would go to the the train stations and we would just seek out the poor and we would we would bring like food if they needed it but sometimes we would if they needed to go to the like a home to kind of get better if they were sick or or hurt we would bring them with us One one day we were walking down the platforms and one of the volunteers and I came across a man who had already died And so he was it he was like a bearded man and all he had around his waist was like they called it a lung It was just like kind of like a a thin towel around his waist And so to come across this like lifeless body of a man Yeah There was something of that that transcended and it was as if I was and she said "Oh like see if he's alive." And so I like touched like I took his pulse to see if he had a pulse and he he was dead And so there's just something of like to touch the body of Christ in that like very um profound way Um yeah it just like it really pierced my heart Yeah And just to see the people around just like passing by as if nothing like as if nothing mattered you know and just kind of even the the link of of how Yeah Jesus dies every day you know like his sacrifice is is um offered each day in the mass but like how many people are so indifferent to that Um yeah so just kind of like all of that tied together and so just Yeah it just really became again like this personal personal experience of of Jesus So that really left a mark on you It really did Yeah Yeah And I think one thing that I wrestled with um cuz I felt like that Yeah all like there was something like I wrestled with why did I feel so alive when I was in Kolkata like different and different in when I'm back in Canada and so I would talk to my spiritual director about like Kolkata Michelin like who was she you know like who was she and why was she so alive because I wanted to live in that life like the that sense of like um the glory of God is man fully alive so I felt like I I I had tasted myself fully alive Yeah And so so like now what does that look like Yeah What does that look like I do I do feel like I found that like I feel like the journey to that place was long for me Um I was bit of a later vocation but coming into this life it's like yeah I begin my day with adoration and mass and I spend my day uh saying yes to whatever he's asked of me and to serve him uh you know in in my sisters or in the people that the Lord brings in my path Yeah just to belong to him and to belong um like the the meaning like to have a life of meaning and purpose in in being selfg gifted you know you you you skipped quite a few years there from like Kolkata to like and I know that's fine but like that how long was that period that was a number of years so we're talking 10 yeah at least 10 okay around there so let's if you look back at that 10 years after you're working as a nurse um And you're asking this question probably like like Lord what do you want of me Yeah Can you look back at that time and think is there some significant turning points or realizations that you had that perhaps the Lord is calling me to Yeah religious life Mhm Or was this a gradual um grind to that point Yeah I think it was like many many points but like I think one significant point that I think is notable is about 2013 Um so I had gone back to Kolkata another twice more but just before I went on my third time I had led some groups of young women to go um to join in that experience because it was like I wanted to share that Yeah I wanted to share like this made me so alive oneoff thing for you I forgot Yeah Yeah Yeah So um so just before my my third time um I came across the consecration to Mary I consecrated my life to Mary and I felt like that was a very significant turning point It was like um almost the image that comes to mind is that like u my the sail of my of my boat was opened and so I was no longer like the one steering and it was just like there was an invitation for the wind of the Holy Spirit to to move me where wherever the Lord wanted me you know And so um yeah there was something there was definitely a significant shift in the way that I was going about life at that time After that there was just like a a more openness to to the Holy Spirit and where he was guiding me Um I think when I think back to my time in Kolkata one thing that uh I did feel like a bit drawn to the Kolkata like to the missionaries of charity because I felt like I knew life there So I was like oh maybe I should be a missionary of charity But when I looked at their life there was two things One was they only visited home every 10 years and I thought "Oh my like my niece is two and she'll be 10." Like I just couldn't imagine being away for that significant of a time And the second thing was that they they didn't eat in common They only ate like with like in their own community because they didn't want to like have the rich or the poor treat them differently or to be treated differently And so they never ate outside of their community And for me that was like the real kicker was just like you know I just I felt like common meals are so like a place of life for me that I just was like there's no way that I can do that And so I just felt like I said no I I I can't be a missionary like kind of but I said no to religious life And so I think um yeah I put up a wall there And it wasn't until like much later during a time of adoration that I realized that I had said no And I just like repented and I just said like "Lord I'm sorry that I said no to being a missionary of charity." And I just felt him say in my heart like "I never asked you to be a missionary of charity." And it was such a moment of grace for me because I felt like I felt like when I said no I felt there was like a belief that like he wanted me miserable and I didn't want to be miserable and so I didn't want what he wanted But it was like in his response that I knew like I want like he wants what I like he wants me to be more happy like he knows me and he knows exactly what is going to bring me like life and fullness of life And so it was a moment of like opening myself up to like trust what he might may be inviting me into Yeah So that was like again a significant shift for me because it was like I could say yes And so then that in that place I was opening myself to like possibilities So I went to visit some different communities and spent some time like different amounts of time with different communities So um yeah it's interesting that moment because uh the missionaries of charity are good Of course they're good Of course they're good And and and we think well because it's good it must be God's will you know but and we impose that upon God Well it's good therefore it must be God's will for me Yeah Where he That's so beautiful Well they just said "But but I'm didn't ask you to be a missionary charity." Yeah I think that's a beautiful beautiful moment But sometimes it makes it more difficult because then you have many good things before you Yeah Which one is God's will Yeah And and so you you you have options Yeah like how do you what drew you to missionaries of charity because sorry because I know at one point you were thinking maybe the single life Yeah Yeah So I I did go on a bit of a quest of like um discovering like where where shall I serve you Lord You know I like I visited a few communities I spent some time at Madonna House um in Ontario and yeah really came alive I I served at the the St TR school of faith and mission um for a while and even that was like oh this is a beautiful community and yeah and when I was there when I was serving with the with the at St Perez the students would give a year or two years and then they would go and like respond to God's call on their life and I just thought like oh I'm like older than them and I haven't given my yes and so I went into a time of um of silent retreat and it was a very significant retreat for me and in that time I really felt like the Lord um invite me to give my whole self to him because I I had dated and like I was just kind of like yeah there was like a bit of a pressure in my circle of friends like oh you you know like this is a nice guy and you know just kind of a pressure to marry that was kind of like most people get married so like you should go there and and I tried that but I just I felt very um unsettled in my relationship Yeah And just so that that time of retreat and giving my whole self to the Lord just really freed me So again that was like another significant part where I'm his So now like how do I live that out So so I had I had um I was discerning with the dascese of Saskatoon um consecrated virginity lived in the world and I was pursuing that I was in discernment with the dascese and and doing some formation When co hit it was very sobering time for me That Easter I found my I found myself alone in my in my house Um my roommate had recently moved out just before co so I was by myself the churches were closed and I watched the tridwam online by myself I think people just didn't know like didn't know what was happening and I was working at the hospital so people were afraid that I was like in contact with CO and so I found myself very alone and um the communities that I thought I was a part of and I was a part of just were not there for me in that time and so I again was like opened up to the Lord and just say like what what do you have for me So again I took a time of retreat there and really sought the Lord And it was during that retreat that and the Lord had already been revealing different parts of my heart to me of just like uh a desire to serve priests and um and that kind of thing But in that retreat it was as if he showed me the queenship of Mary It was just like he it was like this is my desire for you And were you aware of the queenship Um yeah So I had I had met them a few years back like I'd heard about them and then I had seen them like when I was at Dawn House they had come for for u spiritual direction and my spiritual director was saying like oh well maybe you should contact them kind of over the years but I never I never had and then they came for um a mission here in Saskatoon and I I attended and met them um and our co-founder Father Father Ben was there and he was he like kind of pointed me out and he said oh like this one she's full of joy She should join us And I was like so embarrassed I was like "Oh my goodness what you know?" um so I tease him now that like you know anyways that I'm I'm yeah the fruit of his teasing But anyway so I was aware of them but they were also very like Queenship of Mary is a very new community So they were founded in 2007 and there was a lot of just growing pains in a new community And so even though my vocation was delayed I think the Lord prepared me for the time that I entered you know like the community was only ready for me and I only ready for the community at the time when I entered So just trusting in God's plan and uh and his timing even if it's outside of what what we believe might be the right timing you know So yeah I just there was like this joy and this like deep knowing that like my fullness of joy would come in in the Queenship Mary I don't I don't really know um if I can describe it any other way but this prayer welled up in me of like Jesus I trust in you even though I don't understand like I don't understand why you would you know invite me away from like my friends and my family and my career and you know like I I had a good life I was I was I was happy on a natural level Um but in the deep um part of my heart there was like a deep restlessness of just like the ache of like not being fully given And so um yeah it was just a great joy as I discerned with the community Um at one point I wrote a letter requesting to bow and to have the community say like "We invite you to vow." Like that was a really um significant um moment for me because I've heard it said like when people are discerning it's like um God calls man responds and church affirms And so for me it was like the church is saying like the church is inviting me to give my life in this way And so it just like was um yeah a great joy for me and it has been a great joy like um the day of my vows was like a very special day uh in our community We receive our religious name and so we submit names ahead of time but it's the day of our vows like as we're vowing Mother kind of calls us in in religion you will be known as And then for me it was sister Miam Josephine of the child Jesus and I was so nervous before I was just like hyperventilating almost in my pew before um but it was just like a great relief and uh yeah I just felt like the Lord had given me this like treasure and this new identity in my name that I would spend my whole life discovering and it it has been a a source of great joy Yeah And just like an anchor for me Like often I'll like just like come to prayer and be like okay I am sister Mary and Joseph you know of the child Jesus and like like tell me who I am in this you know and so um yeah and and like yeah even post vows like I remember I was staying at the mother house um we were still kind of in construction and so I was cooking in the basement and I remember just coming upstairs and going out to the garden to like pick squash for supper or whatever and I just felt like I'm like I just remember being like I'm so happy It's like I'm just so happy Like just like I belong to Jesus and like my only job is to love him My like um you know for those I think it's like St Clair says like for those who love work is rest So like just kind of like to just give myself like it was just like um to pour myself out in love and there's just such a a grace and a joy in it And I think that like that's the source of my joy is like every morning I I'm invited to come like we come into the chapel and just like have time with Jesus and then from there it's like the overflow of that being poured out um to those around me you know So yeah one thing that you said I find really significant is that you had a good life Mhm You know uh you were happy Yeah At a natural level Yeah But you said but at a supernatural level is that how you describe what Yeah Or like at a deeper level at a deeper level At a deeper level That's why I've never heard someone quite put it that way At a natural level you were happy but at a deeper level there was something missing And you said you weren't completely given I just wonder if people are aware of this in their life We have a good life in Canada Many people might be watching from the United States but generally speaking life is pretty good You're not going to walk to the train station subway and find someone who's passed away Like at a natural level there's no reason to be unhappy Yeah We got it good Mhm You know what would you say to a person a young woman maybe who's like "My life is good." And they've never considered the religious life M I'm I'm fairly happy Yeah Yeah Um you draw the like we should like what's going on deep inside that heart like you know that's what I think and I'm pointing this finger at me to Yeah Yeah Am I Am I completely giving I Yeah I mean we can all say that for sure For sure Um Yeah I think part of it like I think even in my w in my years of wrestling um one way that I heard it described and it was it really resonated with me was like um the ache and the sigh and so like kind of like this um there is a sense of like we're made we're made to be gift like we're made it is not good for man to be alone and so we're made to be to be self-gift you know like I think it's John the second he talks about the law of the gift It's like you you are made to be given and so naturally there will be a restlessness if if we if we hold back and I think that's part of what I wrestled with was just like I wanted to have like all the good things of my life and um to be at peace Yeah And to be at peace Yeah Yeah Yeah But yeah if I like my my word of advice for for women for for young women would be um give God permission because he's not going to invite you into something that is not going to be happy I remember one time I was going on a retreat um to visit a community in the States and I had gone for lunch with my sister and she said "Well you're not going to go if you don't want to go." Like and if you go we're going to support you We're going to we're going to rejoice with you in that But like you know in a sense of just like um like you have free will You have free will So like nobody's ever going to force you to do something like vocational like the one requirement for every vocation is like you have to come freely or you can't you you will not can't enter into it You can't enter into it That's like the necessity is free will So um but like when we when we come to a place where we trust that God knows us and loves us and has our best interest at heart um then we can then we can take down those walls and receive the gift that he's inviting us into I I see a pattern in your life as you've been sharing with me is that when you've taken time and set time aside that is when it seems like the Lord has spoken to you At least those are the moments you've shared with me Yes Yeah I think back to the very first time I remember it was this time was set aside Yeah And we prayed and then there was a retreat You set time aside and you said you were kissed by Jesus and then you take more time aside and you go to Kolkata Yeah And you find yourself becoming alive Yeah And then you take more time aside and you go to another retreat Yeah and you go to see orders you take time aside and the Lord works with that I think that's just such a valuable lesson I don't think that's unique to just you Yeah Yeah No for sure But it's beautiful to see that pattern But we need to take time uh to hear the Lord to listen The the words are coming to me as you're speaking It's like seek the Lord and he may be found you know Yeah call upon him for he is near You know like he he's he wants to be like the Lord is at work And I think that's the other thing that I often think to tell people is like the Lord is at work but we need to like um like bring attention to what he's doing cuz he's he's already at work in people's lives and hearts you know So like if somebody's struggling in their vocational discernments like the Lord is at work but like we need to quiet ourselves to like listen to what he's what he's what is he about What is he you know Yeah cuz he is about he is already he's already doing it He's already orchestrating it despite us you know Yeah Well thanks for sharing Yeah So Queenship of Mary if somebody wants to learn more information we're going to flash the website at the bottom of the screen and they can check you guys out Really uh I'm blessed to know you Thank you um as well Thank you Ken This is really special to be here today So thank you Thank you [Music]