From Girlfriend to Priesthood - My Brother’s Call

This week I had the joy of sitting down with my own brother, Father Dan, for his very first appearance on our channel. He opened up about his powerful vocation story—how he discerned between marriage and the priesthood, and the moment he realized he had one life to live, and must live it for the Lord.

#vocationstory #priesthood

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Father Dan, tell me your vocation story. I was at a kind of a complicated time in my life. I was finishing up going into my last year of university, but I was also in a relationship and I just saw the priest preparing for mass, but all of a sudden I heard in my heart the priesthood. And I was like, "Wo, you know what is this?" But she said, "Danny, you should become a priest." And I said, "But Auntie Mary, I have a girlfriend." And I did. And she replied, "Oh, we can get rid of her.

Father Dan, I can't believe we're doing this. Well, Ken, it's great to be here. Listen, how long have you been running this YouTube channel? Oh, boy. Uh, I think the first video was 2014. Is that right? Yeah. But we really didn't get going until 2020 when COVID hit and everything happened. And and how many times have I asked you to come on and do an episode? Well, this is the first time you've had me on. You've asked me many times. And listen, the stars have aligned and here we are. In case anyone anyone doesn't know, you're you're my brother and so it's a pleasure to have you. You also are my pastor. So, this is a unique relationship we have. I have to submit my obedience to you. So, we are going to start a series with you on this channel on the liturgy. But before we do, I thought it'd be a great opportunity for you to come in early and share with people like your faith journey and your vocations journey and get to get to know you a little bit. So So we're going to start with that. Sure. Someone sits down and says, "You know, Father Dan, tell me your vocation story. How do you begin?" Yeah. I I always begin with a phrase. What's the phrase? And the phrase is, "You have one life to live. You must live it for the Lord. It's that phrase I actually wrote down in the I think it was the summer of the summer of 2006. I was just entering my last year of university and I was sitting before the blessed sacrament in St. Wahlberg in our hometown church and I heard heard those words, you have one life to live, you must live it for the Lord. And so I jotted that down in my prayer journal. And those words were were pivotal for me and given me the courage to say yes to the priesthood because I was at a kind of a complicated time in my life. Uh I was finishing up going into my last year of university. Uh but I was also in a relationship dating a beautiful young Catholic woman for I think about three to four years at that time. And uh I was also though thinking about the priesthood. And I was at this point where you know I had to kind of make a choice. You're coming to the end of university and you know that's what happens. You got to make a choice. Choosing between two goods, right? A field of diamonds and a field of gold as some people say. Um, but I had been thinking about the priesthood for about a seriously for about a year and a half before before that moment because when John Paul II died back in April of 2005 again I was in a church before the blessed sacrament preparing for mass and I was really moved by John Paul II's life. So I felt moved to go to daily mass. And as I was sitting in the pew for for praying in mass, I looked up and I I saw the priest. I forget who the priest was. This is at St. Paul's Cold Cathedral in Saskatoon. And I just saw the priest preparing for mass moving some vessels at the credence table. But but all of a sudden, I heard in my heart, it wasn't an audible voice, but I heard in my heart, the priesthood, the priesthood. And I described to people like it was a burning desire. Uh like a burning desire. I had never experienced anything like that in my life up until that point in time. Such clarity from the Lord. And I was like, "Woo!" you know what is this? And I said, "Well, let's not be hasty." And so, you know, I kind of pushed it down a little bit. You know, I said, "This really can't be for me." And so, I pushed it down and you know, continued the dating relationship, but it was always there. Uh, more sometimes it was an ember, but they just flare up. sometimes the priesthood the priesthood and for about a year and a half you know you're I was struggling with that call to the priesthood call to marriage until that moment when I was sitting in our parish in the summer of 2006 when I heard that phrase again you have one life to live you must live it for the Lord because I didn't want to stand before our savior Jesus Christ on judgment day And he say to me, "Dan, I called you to be a priest and you felt the call and you dismissed it." And I didn't want that to happen. And I wanted to live for the Lord, too. I I was taking my faith seriously at that point in life. So I I said, I you know what? I think I got to give this a shot, right? I gotta give the priesthood a chance. So, at this time, I think we were roommates, right? Yeah. Yeah. We were Yeah. Yeah. We were living in the house. I don't know if you knew any of this or No. No. I I don't think so. I think probably right about now. Then you had to make the choice after you're done university here, you make a choice now to go to seminary. What happened? Yeah, that's right. And and so I I come to that that point and so I the the the relationship uh had to end, right? So that's the first thing that happened and of course that was difficult uh I think for both of us. Uh and then I was also kind of kind of afraid. I never ran into a seminarian before. I didn't know one. I didn't know what the seminary was like. And so going into my last year of university, uh that's when I approached our local bishop to study for the dascese of Saskatoon. And when I started making those choices, yes, there was still of a a pain of a loss relationship, right? And kind of lost dreams of marriage and family life. And yes, there is still a worry about the future, about, you know, what does a seminary look like. At the same time, I always tell people I I felt completely joyous and free. Uh as if I I knew 100% I was doing God's will in my life. And and I you know what, I still feel that way. Uh that feeling has never left. And that's a real grace. Uh a lot of men in their discernment either for marriage or the especially the priesthood, it's up and down. It's like sometimes they think they know, sometimes they don't. I've always kind of felt the Lord was calling me and I never doubted it. Yeah. Yeah. I've never doubted my call to the priesthood and and I I still see it as a great gift after 12 years and and so it's a real blessing. I joyous and free. That's how I I uh describe it. So So that's kind of my my story to the priesthood in a nutshell, right? And I give thanks for the gift of my priesthood every day. And uh I I feel it's exactly what the Lord wants me to do and I'm thankful. So we uh we grew up in the same home. We did same parents, you know, we're we're brothers here. So are what do you think mom and dad did in growing up that helped you respond to that call or or did they do something? So I I yes I mean I I would say for sure they created an environment that eventually helped me respond with a yes. That's what they did. And they did this in a number of ways. I think the first way is of course through prayer. And you would know this, our prayer in our home growing up, right? Mhm. And you may have shared this on your channel before, I'm not sure, but we not only had like grace before meals, but we had a time of family prayer in the evening where dad would go around the house and call his seven children. He go, "Prayer time." Yeah. And wherever we were, we come crawling out of the woodworks. Yeah. And we gather in the living room and and we pray. And our house was a busy house, right? Seven of us, we had friends, lots of stuff going on. And you might remember there'd be knocks on the door of the house when when we're praying. And what does dad do? Said, "Oh, come on in and join us." You know, I found that so embarrassing. Yeah. But but you know he he taught us that our faith is worth sharing and living. You know uh but and not embarrassed about his faith in prayer at all. You know a deep man of prayer. And so one always hears their call in the atmosphere in the context of prayer as I shared in my story right it was always before the blessed sacrament in the in the context of prayer that I heard the call. And if I wasn't given that as a young man from our parents, uh I might have missed the call, right? So creating the atmosphere of prayer in the home helped me then to say yes for sure to the priesthood in in the future because I was willing to spend time in prayer taught to me by by our parents. Mhm. So, and then of course our father, everyone sat during prayer, but what did dad do? He knelt. He knelt. Yeah. He was the only one. Yeah. And you know, here's your dad kneeling in prayer. And so I was telling you as a young man, you know that this is something that you're it's worth giving your life to. It's something that's important. So So that's one thing they did. Mhm. The other thing they they did to create an an atmosphere and environment for me to say yes to the priesthood is they always taught us to give ourselves to the church and give to the church. When you think of dad, how many things was he involved in in the church, right? He was a lector. He was in the Knights of Columbus. He was on parish council. Whenever there was a whenever the church needed volunteers, he was there. And and then there was mom. Mom was always involved in the choir, always giving of her time. They were through their example, they were always showing us that we give to the church our time and our talent and our treasure. And then they taught us this because they made us give to the church, right? Uh maybe your experience is a little different but you know we alter served I was a lector. I had to play piano and organ in the church for I don't know how many years. I think until a grade 12 even after that. That's right. Yeah. And and it really wasn't an option. Right. No. I I had to uh I remember I was given the choice between reading and alterving. And I was so afraid to read. I'm like I'm going to alter serve. Like it was just like and you had we had to Yeah. It was an expectation. It was an expectation. Yeah. Yeah. And that expectation is it may seem like a small thing but it's instilling in into young ones and to us at a young age that you know what you give to the church. Uh and so you start young and then and so that giving and so I really think that opened up my heart to be able to give my life to the church, right? uh because I was already given to the church in so many ways as a young fella that that enabled me to give that yes I think later on. Mhm. Yeah. So I think that's key. Okay. So so parents should insist on these things.

And then the third thing is our parents and had a belief of Jesus in the Eucharist. Um, I remember it's a a core memory I have of dad sitting down in the pew. I've shared this with my parishioners as a young guy. Hadn't even celebrated first communion yet, but uh when the congregation knelt at the consecration, I remember dad leaning over and whispering to me as a young guy. I must have been five or six but cuz I didn't always behave in the pew and he would demand I know your kids always behave can but uh but dad would look over at me and he demand my attention as we were kneeling and he said pay attention Jesus is coming and so my father had a belief in the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist all the time in a time in the church when it was started to wayne right But for him it's a given. This is what we'll believe and he passed that on to us. So again because of that I would spend because of that belief passed on. I would spend time in front of the blessed sacrament praying. Never miss Sunday mass as a young man even university right because you go and uh that that belief in the Eucharist I also again helped me say yes to the priesthood. uh to recall uh some of our summer holidays, you know, we'd go off to BAM for Jasper cuz mom and dad both teachers, so we had the summer off. So, it was nice for us. So, we have these big camping trips, but uh do you ever remember them not bringing us to mass on Sunday? Never. We always went. It was not an option. Just you just Exactly. So, they would be in in the yellow pages then looking where's the mass? What time is it calling ahead? Uh, and I think for me at that time it was just I I thought well this is what we do. I occasionally I think I did feel like this was a little incon inconvenient excuse me because you're you're leaving your campsite and now you're traveling and driving could be a ways to mass but um that that was something that I always thought was unique about our family experience as well as everything that you said like we we never miss mass. I don't have a memory ever of missing mass ever. Yeah. What what a powerful lesson. Like you you worship and pray to God even when it's inconvenient. And sometimes it should be inconvenient, right? Yeah. Uh yeah. You you do this. Yeah. And it wasn't being pushed. You know, I sometimes hear people have told me, "Oh, father, that my parents, they really just pushed me to go to church and they pushed me to pray the rosary every night." And they they seem they seem to use that as an excuse for for how they feel towards their faith. That these are people who often no longer practice the faith, right? and they say, "Oh, it's because it's because my parents forced it up on me when I was young, and it it just made me bitter, Father." But I I don't believe that. Uh I think there there's other reasons why they left the faith, and they're just using that as an excuse to make themselves feel better, right, about ease their conscience a little bit. It is always praiseworthy to instill that upon our young ones and our children and to make that obligation of them like you should pray and you should go to mass Sundays, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's a given. Yeah. We make our kids do this. Yeah. Exactly. Just like we we say you have to eat healthy. You don't have an adult later on in life saying, "Oh, I I don't like to eat healthy because it was forced upon my own pee by my parents. So, I I give up broccoli cuz I'm so bitter. I hate broccoli because of my parents. Like I I would agree that there's deeper issues going on there. Um what's looking at the church and of course you probably we all recognize a decrease of vocations. Um what can we as a church do to promote vocations now? Yeah. Because you're the vocations director of our dascese. I am 12 years running. Oh, I didn't realize that. A long time.

Concerning what the church can do, I I always like to tell a story. Uh it was my first year as a pastor in Kurabbert, Saskatchewan. It's a small town, 800 people, thousand people. And my first week there as pastor, I visited the nursing home, the hospital. They were attached. And I was just going around introducing myself to all the the Catholic residents there, the the old people in the nursing home. And I remember looking at this door and they have their names on the door and the name said Lena Reenmocker. And I said to myself, that's a good German name because it was a German area, German Catholic. Reckenbacher. And so I knock on the door and I said I introduce my I I I say, "Mrs. Reckener, my name is Father Dan. I'm the new priest here." And so I open the door and here's this small little woman in a wheelchair, very frail, elderly. And the first thing she does is she looks up at me and these are the words out of her mouth. She said, "Your mother must be so proud to have a son as a priest." Oh, and I always remember those words. Your mother must be so proud to have a son as a priest. And and she meant it. She meant it. She meant it with her whole being. And we later had a conversation how her deep one of her deepest longings was to have one of her sons become a priest. And I've often thought on these words because is that still true today in our Catholic church amongst our Catholic families? Is it still true that we desire our sons to be priests? And I'm not just talking about an openness to the priesthood, you know, yeah, we're open to have my son be a priest. Yeah, we're open. But I'm just not talking about an openness. I'm talking about a desire to that thought of desiring our one of our sons to be a priest and to long for that and and so to pray with it. Uh, just another case in point, I'm I'm not sure if this ever happened to you, Ken, but it always happened to me, but often when I would go home, uh, when I was in university for the summer, a lot of my great aunts would always come up to me and say, "Oh, you should be a priest." You know, did that ever happen to you? Uh, a little bit. Okay. Yeah, it did a little bit. Yeah. With with the great ants. Yeah, with the great ants. And part of that could be because we had a great uncle that's a priest, right? And so they but they this would have been their brother. Exactly. But they were they took great pride in that and uh that was passed on to them from their grandma, their mother. But and they had such a deep desire that the next generation would have a priest, the the one after that. But there was no one. So they started the next generation which was us. Mhm. Uh but they had that desire but the desire for the ne at the next generation level wasn't quite there. Uh that next generation I never received that same encouragement. Right? Our our great ants were they weren't ashamed at all to encourage us to be priests. They just went up there and would would do that. Right. Uh my great aunt Auntie Mary is my favorite story. She said, she said, "Danny, they called me Danny. Danny, you should become a priest." And she held my hand, you know, and squished it. And I said, "But Auntie Mary, I have a girlfriend." And I did. And she replied, "Oh, we can get rid of her."

Just unashamed about it.

Cuz that was her first desire. Yeah. So to get back to your question, Ken, sorry. So what can we do as a church? I think the first thing we have to do is recapture, a true desire for our sons to be priests uh and to long for it and then when it happens to celebrate it. Uh yeah cuz I I think we've lost that desire uh amongst our Catholic families. Mhm. So that's the first thing we got to do. Okay. Yeah. And that that means a whole host of things that follows from that. We have to see the priesthood as a great gift. uh there would and recapture a little bit this sense that the priesthood is a higher calling. Uh the priesthood in the religious life there not so long ago there was a sense that that the priesthood and the religious life was a higher calling than marriage, right? That it's almost more special. It's more special in this regard, right? that the priesthood and religious life, they're living their end on earth now. The end will we will be living in heaven, right? They're foreshadowing that. And so that's why we can say it's a it's a higher calling. We're living heaven on earth now. And our very lives point to that, right? Yes. Yeah. There's and I I think we've diminished that. Oh, the priest in marriage, you know, they're just the same. And it the priesthood, religious life, not that special, you know, we're we're all in the same boat here. And and I'm not saying this to toot my own horn or anything like this, but but the sense that it's something that's very sacred, something a little more set apart. Yeah. Uh something uh perhaps a little bit higher. Uh I'm not sure uh what you think about that, but I think we need to recapture that. Well, I agree. Like I mean to have a desire. I mean, if you if if the priesthood is presented to young people as just another call amongst many Well, what why what's going to draw them there? There's something about seeing the ideal of something and striving for it and longing for it. When it's set apart, it's like special. When you set it like if you make it like on the same footing as I don't know, marriage, it's well, first of all, it's not. I mean, it's a supernatural call. Yes. That's right. Exactly. Marriage is a natural call. That's right. Exactly. So, it's it is fundamentally different. Yeah. I guess what it is, you have to say the truth about that because I think within the church there has been this uh a cautionary thought of we don't want to fall into clericalism. Yes. You know the priest is up here lay people down here not good for the church. So let's try and even the field even though the teachings of the church might suggest otherwise let's not communicate it so so harshly or abruptly. Um I disagree with that. Yes. So I I think we need to get back to a little more. It's this supernatural call. It's this it's a a higher call a call that is set apart. Right. Well, your life is not how you're living is not the natural way of a a man to live, right? It's a supernatural way. Yeah. And it's an indication that God has called you to do something that's unique. And and I think we need to be unapologetic about it. And this kind of brings me to my other point, what the church can do. So, we need to desire it. And that means a whole host of things, right? Including upholding the dignity of the priesthood. But we need to desire it as the church intends. And and what do I mean by that? I think often with all that has gone on in the church concerning the priesthood, right? Uh some of the scandals that have taken part, there's a real sense that sometimes we've become ashamed of the priesthood. And we've also become ashamed of the priesthood in in one other regard and I think it's an important one is that and that is the male only priesthood. Um, as a seminarian, I remember a number of times, and this wasn't just my experience, but being told that I'm only becoming a priest cuz I'm a man, right? And and it happened so many times, I just got used to it. And but can you imagine though if if you have a young man discerning the priesthood, he's in seminary and he's told that by a member of the church, right? And you know that can do harm to the young man's discernment, right? In what way? Well, right away he feels as though that the priesthood isn't a gift to the church. That he's supposed to be ashamed of it. And that the priesthood as the church has it right now isn't something to be revered and and longed for. It needs to change. And and so you it's kind of like you should be part of this. That's kind of what it was, right? So, you got that impression you're becoming a priest only just because you're you're only a man. That's right. Or, you know, comments like, oh, the priesthood is a chauvinistic institution, right? Male male chauvinistic institution. And but I I think there's a there's a little bit of of shame that we have concerning the male only priesthood as established by Christ. Because how often have you heard it preached on or catechized about by clergy? I don't think I have. Yeah. And there's this constant pressure from without outside the church, even within, but especially from without to change that, right? That it it can't be a male only priesthood. It has to be equal. And the priesthood is nothing to be ashamed about. It it's something that has been handed on to us from Christ the apostles from one generation to the next and we have to desire it as the church intends everyone in within the church and not to have shame about it in any way or to be quiet about it in any way that Christ established a male only priesthood and we could talk about this maybe more at a different time and things are coming back talk about these issues But it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a gift. The male only priesthood is a gift. And uh we need to recapture that and really hold that close to our hearts. I think uh we have and this comes with everything. We have to surrender ourselves to the will of the church. Right. So yeah, what what that's long- winded. No. What the church can do is desire the priesthood as the church intends. all members of the church, all levels of the church, and then that will be passed down to our young men, right? Yeah. Um, what would you tell a young person right now who's struggling with vocation? What would you, what words of encouragement would you give them? I tell them they have one life to live, they have to live it for the Lord.

But it's true. Listen, if you got one life to live, don't you want to live it how the Lord wants you to live it? And so that means you have to take seriously the call to the religious life or the priesthood and to take it seriously. And so yeah, I I would tell them that and then of course they have to pray. So to place our vocations before the Lord every day and ask him to form our desires uh for our vocation. uh ask him, Lord, if you're calling me to the priesthood, you know, put that desire within me a little bit. If I'm called to marriage, continue to inflame that desire because men always feel like call to marriage, right? That's an important point because it's a natural uh something natural God gave us. Can can you just stay with that point one second because I think sometimes I've come across this with young men. They think, well, I must be called to marriage because I like women so much or like I feel called to marriage. I I really like this girl. What is that? That's normal, right? No. No. For every man. It would almost say if you're not attracted to women, you probably don't have a call to the priesthood, right? Yes. Yeah. And that's another topic. Yes. Yeah. But that's natural, right? Yeah. That's right. And so a young man shouldn't think, oh, I I because I'm attracted to women and I really feel called or I have a desire, for example, to unite myself to another woman, I must not be called to the priesthood. Yeah, that that's not true, right? Yeah. Exactly. And so every man has a desire for marriage and for the beauty of femini femininity, right, of woman, the beauty of woman. Every man has a a desire for that. It's built into us, right? And and to cherish the feminine, right? And to protect it. And so that's natural. And as a priest, I'm always going to have that all the time. But I I direct that desire towards my bride, the church, right? Uh and so to protect her, to cherish her, to love her. And uh and so I I I live that desire out in a different way because the Lord has also given me another desire. But Exactly. Just because you feel called to marriage does not mean at all I can't be called to the priesthood. Yeah. You got it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, so uh what I would tell young people is one life to live, live it for the Lord. Spend time in prayer and ask God to form your desires, right? to to grant him, Lord, if you're calling me to the religious life, the priest, to grant me the that desire because God will, I believe, will form that desire if if that's a if that's a genuine ask, I think he'll do that. Yeah. And then third, not to be afraid. Not to be afraid. Just to take that step and and to go forward. Um it it's just my experience that when you take a step into the unknown concerning your vocation to the priesthood or religious life, God will only do good things with that. And there's nothing to be afraid of. Absolutely nothing. We got one life to live. We have to live it for the Lord. So to take seriously the call, that would be my advice. Beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. Um you'll come back do this again? Yeah. Yeah, I'll come back in. I think it's worth to worth sharing that uh you will be doing a series on the liturgy perhaps 10 episodes long. So uh that's coming up. So I'm really pleased that we were able to have this conversation first before we start that series. So thank you so much. Thanks for having me, Ken. And I look forward to doing this again.

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